Your Darkest Fears

Your Darkest Fears

… and how to face them.

Imagine a world where all kinds of phobias doesn't exist. Outrageously impossible, right?

Fear is a primordial instinct of any living thing. Each person in this world has a thing or two to fear about. There are those who fear of heights, strangers, or closed spaces. Some people even fears normally harmless things like hair and light!

A lot of people avoid their fears because they're scared of them. Claustrophobic people take the stairs to go fifteen floors up a building instead of taking the elevator. Those with a “phobia of germs” avoid physical contact because they fear that germs will get to them. But evidently, this is not the best approach for facing your fears.

People who have excessive fear of something should actually face it. Do not run away from it! Be more exposed to that fear. Eventually, you'll see that you were just afraid of nothing.

Here's a few tips on how to fight and manage your fears with flying colors.

1. Compose your own mantra.

Some experts say that believing in your words or thoughts will make things happen. This is the essence of a mantra. A mantra is like a motto. Something you truly, strongly believe in. Try making one. Anything is fine as long as you understand the thought that lies within. Some people would go with the simplest ones; “Face your fears!”, “I can do this!”, or “I'm not scared!”. It's always best to make a mantra out of the goals you are trying to achieve. If you've thought of one, try chanting it over and over again. It will help you gain confidence and a firm state of mind needed to overcome your deepest fears.

2. Start from scratch.

It's common knowledge to start from scratch. Try making a plan. For example, if you're a claustrophobic person, try riding the elevator one floor up for one week. Make sure someone you trust is with you, so that when something comes up you'll have someone to depend on. Then, ride two floors the next week, and so on. The time span may vary according to how great your fear is. You can even ride an elevator without a companion. The bottom line is to make a plan of when and how you will have your encounter with the said fear. Take things slowly and do it gradually. You can't expect your fears to go away overnight.

3. Prepare a checklist.

A checklist is important. This might be a mental checklist or a written one. This will show the progress you have made so far.

Formulate questions out of your state when your phobia attacks. Are you still hyperventilating? Do your heart still beats faster? Do you still have cold sweats? Are you still nauseated? Questions like that which are answerable by yes or no are good. But, as I've said, anything is fine too.

Be sure to check your list every encounter. Answer truthfully. This is not an exam that you have to cheat on, after all.

4. Shout and cry.

Shouting and crying out loud help you vent out that pent up emotions in your chest. If you are too scared, it is always good to shout before, during, or after having that fearful encounter. You can also cry too, to release the stress of the experience. Do not be worried about what other people may think. At some point of their lives, they will go through or have gone through a similar experience anyway.

Face your fears. Remember, you cannot run away forever.

Little White Lies (...and why I shouldn't have told them!)

Being in a situation where you cannot tell a lie yet you cannot tell the truth is very troublesome. Not only will you have to think about what words you will let out of your mouth, you will also have to make sure that the other party will not notice that there is something wrong. This is usually the case when you tell a white lie.

You usually tell a white lie because you do not want the other party to get hurt. You do this to spare this feelings. However, there are white lies that will just become a burden to you. Sometimes, that one white lie you tell becomes not worth it at all.

Here are some of the most common white lies people tell and why it is better to tell the truth:

1. I'm okay. It's fine. You can still bear with it. But in truth, it's not. You need someone to talk it out to. You need to talk about it to really ease your burden. Otherwise, you'll become a big mass of malice. In the end, you will just hurt yourself and other people especially those who are close to you.
2. Anywhere's fine. The ever-convenient word: anywhere's fine. This is a magic word that people use when they do not know where they want to go. Or if they are considering where their companions want to go. They actually stifle their desire to go somewhere with their companions out of consideration or if they don't want to be taken out of the loop. In the end, this will actually mean: “I trust that you won't bring me to some place I won't like.”
3. Anything's fine. This is the magic word when people does not really want to choose. Or if they have a choice they want to pick but they cannot say it because of the situation or the person they are talking to. In the end, they have to bear with the choice that other people made for them.
4. Any time's fine. The any time's fine magic word only works when the person is meeting up with each other. This is said when the speaker has lots of free time during the day of the meet-up. There are hindrances to the completion of the word, such as emergency errands or the person overslept.
5. I'm sorry. Got in a fight? You're sorry that you've hurt him or her. However, you are not sorry that you said everything out that makes you angry. However, it is better not to say sorry if you don't really mean it. In the end, it will just cause more pain not only to the other party but to yourself as well.

It's a Girl-Boy Thing

“God created man in His image;

In the divine image He created him;

Male and female He created them.” - Gen 1:27

There are a lot of differences between a man and a woman. One obvious fact is that men can't get pregnant. Isn't it funny to see a macho guy going around the mall in a maternity dress with a bulging stomach? Aside from that, there are obvious differences in a man's and a woman's perspective, habits, and routines. They are polar opposites that they sometimes cause conflicts. Here are some of the examples of why men can't win an argument with a woman and why women get a migraine when talking to a man.

ON RELATIONSHIPS

Both men and women have different views upon entering a relationship. Most girls would love a boy in the hopes of changing him, but he doesn't. Most guys would love a girl hoping that she wouldn't change, but she does. They both end up disappointed with each other.

For a woman to be happy, a man has to be a friend, companion, lover, brother, father, chef, stylist, psychologist, pest exterminator, psychiatrist, healer, good listener, and an organizer. He needs to be athletic, warm, attentive, intelligent, funny, creative, tender, strong, understanding, tolerant, courageous, and dependable. At the same time, a man should give her lots of attention, and time, and to never, EVER forget birthdays, anniversaries, and dates.

For a man to be happy, a woman needs to be understanding that he needs to drink with friends to socialize. He needs sandwiches every time. He needs to be left alone when needed and to be cuddled when he wants. He doesn't do chores if he doesn't want to. He is the king of the house, as well as the universe.

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

ON TRAVELING

When a guy and a girl travels for seven days, their luggage would always be a ratio of 1:2. The guy would pack a day's worth of clothes and he would wear of his clothes twice during the trip. The girl, on the other hand, would pack a week's worth of clothes – that means three different daily outfits – since she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.

When driving for the trip, if the girl drives and gets lost, she would pull over at a gas station or a store and ask for directions. If the boy drives and gets lost, he'll definitely drive around for two hours trying to figure out the way.

ON VANITY

A man's bathroom has only six items on his bathroom: toothbrush, razor, shaving cream, shampoo, bathsoap, and shower towel. A woman's bathroom has a average of 247 things, and a man would not be able to recognize most of them.

Nevertheless, both are vain. Men will check his reflection on mirrors every chance they get. Women will check themselves out on shiny surface mirrors, store windows, and – the ever handy – pocket mirrors.

Girls, obviously, loves to dress up. It takes thirty minutes to apply a cherry-fragrant clarifying body lotion, twenty minutes to apply a hypoallergenic facial cream, and ten minutes to apply Vitresse hair cream. Then, a hour in front of the mirror picking the best outfit for the day. Men takes ten minutes at the least to apply hair gel and spray his Bench perfume.

ON ARGUMENTS

When a girl says, “It's up to you!”, she actually means that you're going to regret doing what you're about to do. If she says “You don't know how to listen!”, she really wants you to do what she wants. If a guy asks her if he did something wrong, she would say “Nothing” but that entirely means not only a yes but a lot. If she says she doesn't want to talk about it, then that meas she's waiting for the right time to say it. There are hidden meanings behind a woman's words.

Men, on the other hand, are more straightforward. If they say they are hungry, they really are hungry. But they can say words with underlying meanings, too. When he says “Let's talk”, then that means “You listen. I'll talk.”

But whatever the argument is, the woman will always have the last words. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

ON GROWING UP

Woman matures faster and earlier than men. A 16-year old female can effectively take care of an infant. A 16-year old male can make the family dog drink alcohol. Little girls love toys, but at the age of 11 or 12 they outgrew them and choose to hang out with their girl friends. When little boys grow older, their toys get more and more expensive – cars and video games!

The difference between the male and female species is complicated, right? But whatever it is, we cannot deny the fact that we coexist together. Even in the Bible, the existence of both the male and the female species had been mentioned like bread and butter. A man couldn't exist without a woman in his life. A lady needs a gentleman, so does a princess waiting for her prince and a damsel in distress expecting her knight in shining armor. They complement each other, despite the differences that both parties possess.

The Love-O-Meter

Concerned whether your love is going forward or not? Here's how you can evaluate your relationships..

There's a limit to how much people can love. Just because you found someone you like does not mean that he is really the one. There will be bumps and road blocks along the way so there is a chance that you – or him – will end up falling out of love.

For the love-o-meter, here are some of the types of love situations that people usually fall into when they meet someone they like.

• Friends but looks like lovers.

You are friends but you guys act like lovers. There's no official declaration between the two about loving each other. It just happened that everything worked out like that.

• Lovers but more like friends.

The two had already confessed their love for each other. Still, they don't show too much public display of affection (PDA). They act friendly and caring towards each other in public, just like how much friends do. Their displays of affection happens when there are no other people around. Examples of such couple are those who arrived in their situation from being friends.

• M.U.

The two had a mutual attraction to each other. No confession, but there is a silent declaration that one owns the other as a lover. Only those who are involved in an M.U. situation can set their limits to the relationship.

• Official Couples

The official couples are those who have gone through courtships and all that jazz. Then they get together as bf-gf. After that, they get the approval of both party's family. They are then allowed to show little bits of PDA. Of course, too much will annoy other people nowadays so be considerate.

• Secret Couples

Official or non-official couples can decide whether they will go out to the world and shout their love for each other. There are those couples who do not want their relationship known to the world. In this case, they are secret couples.

• The Mistress

Someone who falls in love and gets into a relationship with a man or a woman who already had an established relationship with another party. The love may be real or it might be out of some negative reasons. Commonly known as the 'third party'.

• In-Waiting

If you like this to the airport, this is the part where people are waiting at the gate before boarding an airplane. This means that there is already a confirmation of love. Due to certain factors though, it will take some time before the relationship becomes official.

• Not-Meant-to-Be

There was love at some point, but the two never ended in a romantic relationship.

• On the rocks.

The relationship that only causes both parties to be in grief. It might be because the one who is less in love with the relationship does not value his or her partner. It might also be because there are too many oppositions on this relationship.

• Meant-to-Be

A relationship with marriage becoming a part of the journey.

The Love of a Thousand Cranes

I had a short story I wrote of the same title. This came about because I liked to word 'The Love of a Thousand Cranes”. I think I got this published. I just can't remember. SO, here it goes.

The Love of a Thousand Cranes

The past was...

… my memory, ever haunting.

… my burden, heavy and laden.

… my downfall, my disgrace, and my pain.

Today is...

… the wish for some who'll listen.

… the hopes of a new beginning.

… the worry of a love that is not a shame.

Tomorrow will be better.

The memories wouldn't be scarier.

Someday, my heart won't be strained.

Waiting for the love of a thousand cranes.

MY LOVE

 This one is just a poem that I wrote for fun. Never really did anything to it.

MY LOVE

What's a mouse without the likeness of a house?

What's the question when asking for the reason of a joust?

What would be of the lamps without volts and amps?

Don't keep the lad in the load or we'll end up in the swamps!

What's a vampire without the whistle of an umpire?

It is the second vowel on hammer and fire.

It's difficult to understand this, I know. It just a poem that happened.

Poem # 3

It's on the third page of my long-lost poem notebook so I just gave it this name. It never really have any title in my notes. It seems that I entitled it 'The Rule' but it was crashed out. Also, there's another opening poem under it so it might be another poem I wrote on a spur of a moment. So let's just go with a nameplate, then just leave this as title-less.

The Melody

Here's another one of my literary art series. This was born out of an idea to use love songs. But I could match the songs with any other words. That's why I gave up partway in putting words into the poem. I made it so that it becomes a fill-in-your-own story poem.

The Question

I was looking in my treasure boxes for some notebooks because I want to make a homemade journal for my meal plan of 2014. I found a good one. o(≧∇≦o) Because it is used, I found some notes in it that are mostly school works. Of course, it is not really a notebook that I can lend to kouhais in school under the same program as me. There are lots of rants in there that can be detrimental to my image (if ever I have one!). LOL.

2014 BUCKET LIST

Here are some of the bucket list items that I will make sure to fulfill this year. Last year and the year before last, I wasn't able to do anything worthwhile. Truth be told, I personally think that 2013 was a 'wasted' year for me. I didn't do anything that benefits me in terms of the social, mental, emotional, and physical aspect of my life. The year before last was, well, the year when I took a step back and evaluate what has become of me. These past two years caused me a lot of losses.

This year, I plan to make it worthwhile. So, I have to be aware of what I want to be first. I have already established my educational plans as well sa physical plans. So the other aspects that I have to plan out are the emotional and social parts.

In response to that, here are some of the resolutions I vow to complete before the year ends.